A Christmas Party Carol

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The three ghosts of A Christmas Carol Co. had the same predicament every year: who was in charge of what at their annual office holiday party. Their small business (an insurance business, as they liked to call it—but of a different sort) had taken off since they partnered with Charles Dickens, a small-time journalist, for marketing purposes. The ghosts had offered Dickens a behind-the-scenes tour of their typical client work, which turned out to be their most triumphant case yet. Their unwitting client that year had been a kindless, curmudgeonly Mr. Scrooge. Through a series of professional reports (that did not make it into Dickens’ coverage) and a firsthand look at the miser’s past and future (which definitely did make it to print, though the journalist took some dramatic liberties), the ghosts converted Mr. Scrooge into a firm believer in both Christmas and supernatural spirits. Scrooge even invited the ghosts to his office holiday party, where they met their newest and favorite intern, Tim. 

To celebrate their newfound success, the ghosts felt pressured to throw their own holiday bash to remember. But after such a busy season and uncomfortable with the growing outsider attention, they truly just wanted some low-key time together. Conflicted, the three ghosts watched their most important professional day of the year loom nearer, menacing and festooned with holly. While the world around them accumulated snow and holiday cheer, the Christmas spirits were increasingly inundated with memos and corporate dread. 

To make matters worse, this holiday party would be Tim’s last day with the company. The young man had immediately become an asset to the firm. Since his internship began, Tim had successfully replaced the broken kettle in their kitchenette, set up the office wifi, and taught the three ghosts how to improve their communications by prioritizing email and chat messenger functions over their previous method: materializing in each other’s cubicles without warning to leave spooky, passive aggressive sticky notes. Unfortunately, and awkwardly thanks to their recent success story, Tim now had decades to go before becoming a ghost himself, and therefore would not be qualified for a more permanent spot at the company for quite some time. The kindness the ghosts had inspired in Scrooge meant that the older man invested in better health insurance and working conditions for his employees. Tim had decided his next position would be closer to his relatives in Scrooge’s company. The Christmas Ghosts mourned the loss of their intern even as they celebrated his good health, which made all office interactions even more ominously festive than usual. 

Another problem they ran into every year was this: how do you plan an office party when no one was ever around the office at the same time? When they were not on deadline, the ghosts preferred to telecommute from their different time zones. The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come always argued over who should bring what, and who should be responsible for booking the conference room in their shared office building. Office meetings were always a bother to the ghosts. Their previous intern, back in the 1800s, had insisted on seances. Tim pioneered Skype conference calls, even though the Ghost of Christmas Past’s audio always came in with a bit of a delay.

In addition to their different schedules, the venue and activity options for merrymaking seemed terrifyingly endless. Times had changed since they started their business, and the ghosts were annually overwhelmed with possibilities. Previous office holiday disasters included a party at a trendy bar where other patrons quite rudely mistook them for leftover Halloween decorations, an interoffice mixer with their only other “spooky” neighbor—the local taxidermist—and an ill-fated “Escape Room” adventure sponsored by the company.  

In the end, their holiday party struggle reached its annual anxious détente. With no party—or even a garland—planned, the three ghosts and Tim took their yearly client on the usual tour through the potential interplanar horrors of the holiday season that threatened everyone, should the client not change their ways. While their client learned to “seize the day” to be a better person, the ghosts realized that they were under no obligation to put themselves out for a party at all. With the exception of Tim, they were all already ghosts, and did not have to seize the day for a holiday party when they knew there would be more to come. There was no reason whatsoever the ghosts of Dickensian fame couldn’t, in Tim’s words, “just be chill” this season. 

Afterwards, tired but content with a job well done, the Christmas Carol Co. team ordered takeout and streamed a movie, deciding to celebrate by watching some other cast of characters tell a Christmas story for once. 

Emily Olsen

Emily Olsen is a storyteller and arts administrator currently based in Washington, DC. When not reading or writing, Emily can usually be found haunting local museums. Find her on twitter as @Emily_R_Olsen and Instagram @emilyr.olsen.

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